All's Fair in Love, War, and High School
by Not My Fault I'm Weird
Summary: Meet Naruto Uzumaki. Hes the new kid. What happen when he meets one of the most phyochotic girls there? And her best friend? Romance surely ensues. After all, all's fair in love and war and high school!
1. New school, new life!

I revised the chapter. I found out it sucked balls (excuse my language) so I needed to fix it. Any other information about this is in the 2nd chapter. Yes, I'm working backwards. I wrote that chapter before I came back to revise this one.

A few things to know about this fan fiction. One, if you don't like swearing, cussing, or perverted thinking, turn back now! You have been warned! There's a back button for a reason, you know. Two, this high school system is based on where I live. Where I live you don't get accepted into just any high school, they have to want you there. Though, thats just with the high schools that specialize in one or two subjects, but in this fic it's all of them. And of course, you'd need to apply for it. As an extra bonus, like in college you get your own dorm! I hope this clarifies the high school system.

Disclaimer: Hey, Naruto come over here!

Naruto: Yes?

Me: Do I own you?

Naruto: Fortunately for the Naruto cast, no.

Me: See? Apparently I don't. Nor would anyone want me to.

Key:

"Speaking"

_Thoughts, flash backs_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uzumaki Naruto was usually an upbeat sort of guy. Except in the mornings. Oh, how he hated waking up. Especially this morning when that god forsaken alarm clock woke him up at six o' clock in the fucking morning. Of course, he wasn't very pleased. The only reason he was waking up this early was because it was his first day of school.

So, sleep deprived and groggy, he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Doing his usual routine of taking a shower than brushing his teeth, he was quickly done and heading to back to his bedroom to get dressed. His wardrobe wasn't really colorful. It mostly consisted of orange. Well, that's Naruto for you!

Picking out his best black shirt he put on a, you guessed it, orange jacket, but left it unzipped. Getting a gronala he headed out the door. No one would have left at that time, but had to get there early so he could be able to start his classes today.

As he was walking out the door Naruto remembered how he requested a dorm after they sent his acception letter. He really didn't want to leave his apartment behind, but it was much easier for him to get on with his studies if he has a dorm at school. And he had to admit, it was much better than having to pay rent.

Now, his day may have started out dully, but with Kyuubi, the infamous Nine-Tailed Fox, sealed inside him, no day would stay that way for long.

"Kit, why'd you get so little to eat for breakfast? You know I gotta eat too,"spoke Kyuubi's voice from inside Naruto's conscience_**.**_

_Don't call me Kit!.... And why do you make me sound pregnant?! _were Naruto's thoughts, the only way for him to communicate with him, without making it seem like he's gone crazy. The only slip up with that was, thanks to his anger he didn't look where he was going and he almost ran into a pole. _See what you do?! I almost ran into a pole!_

"One, yes, I can clearly see what happening in the outside world, and two, that's you're fault you can't watch where you're going," came his witty response. It really annoyed Naruto how they had to (sort of) share a body, but what annoyed him most was his smart ass attitude. _Look, how about when we get to school I'll eat something extra in lunch. Sound good? _

"Yes, very."

At least now he didn't have to hear him whining. With the quiet he could at least walk quicker to get to school faster. Good thing his school wasn't far away either. When he reached the school the first thing he saw was separate buildings that seemed to all be conjoined somehow. _Not sure why it's like that, but I'm sure I'll find out sooner or later._ At the Main Entrance he saw in big, bold letters the name of the school. United Nations High. Pretty corny name actually, but it was the first high school who accepted him. He didn't want to take any chances. Funny thing is, he never really remembered sending an application.

As soon as he entered he headed for the principles office. It was pretty easy to find, and it wasn't just because of the huge sign that read 'Principles Office'. This sign was actually bigger than the sign at the Main Entrance.

He knocked on the door and was welcomed by a woman with black hair that reached her shoulders. She was kind of creeping him out since she had a pig in her hands. Really, what person in there right mind would have a pig in school? Much less an adult. He heard that you were allowed to have a pet as a faithful companion in school, but to bring a pig was just weird.

"So you're the new kid. Uzumaki Naruto, am I right?," the woman said with a smile. Naruto nodded.

"I'm Shizune." She held the pig in her left hand and used her right to motion for him to come in. "I'm the assistant principle."

She led him into the Principle's Office. It was a blond woman with very big...err..um...chest. "So this is Uzumaki Naruto?" It didn't really sound like a question, more like she already knew him. "You don't look any different than what I expected." Naruto gave a nervous laugh. _Is it just me or are the adults here kind of weird?_

"I feel ya on that one," came Kyuubi's voice. _So he noticed it, too. Hey, Kyuubi! Have you ever seen her before? I feel like she knows me, but I don't remember her. _However, he never got a response. He always disappears at the worst times.

"Well, lets get to the basics." The Principle's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "This school unites all the ninjas from all of the Elemental Nations. It's to prove all types of people can work well together no matter what village they come from". Naruto really didn't need the lecture now. He'd eventually find all this stuff out without her help. So instead, he decided to travel inside his concience.

_Kyuubi! Where the hell are you?! I asked you a fucking question and I want you to respond._ Still silence. _Fine! Be that way!_ He snapped back to reality just in time. As it seems she was just about to wrap up her speech.

"...we expect you to do your best. Not be perfect, just work hard to achieve your goal. Anyways, in this envelope there's everything you need to know," she said with a smile and passed him the envelope. With that he got up, left and was headed to his dorm.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why the heck is this school so freakin' big?!" Naruto shouted half expecting someone to hear, and the other half expecting someone to hit him in the head for making so much noise. _I've been walking for the longest time and haven't found my dorm yet._

"You know, you could've just asked someone," said a voice from behind me. "But then again, that would so be unlike a guy." Naruto looked back and saw a brunette who had her hair up in two buns. "I'm Ten-Ten" she said, following his confused look. "I'm guessing your Uzumaki Naruto. You're a freshman, 13 years old, you currently have a D average in all your classes..." Every time she said something she marked it off with her fingers. "Oh, and you're fresh meat," she finished with a weird smile.

"I've got a couple of questions. One, how do you know my name and so much about me. Two, how the hell am I fresh meat?!" he asked to know, or more like demanded.

"Well, this may be your first day but people are already talking about you. And unless you hang out with cool Freshman you'd rather not know whats going to happen to you."

"Yea. That makes me feel a lot better," I responded sarcastically.

"I'll help you find your dorm. Let me see that." She took the envelope out of my hands. When she saw his dorm number she smirked, but quickly wiped it away cautious that Naruto wouldn't see it. Luckily, he didn't. "You're dorm is this way. Follow me."

Naruto followed her feeling thankful. Without her he'd probably be lost by around he tried to remmeber every door he passed through so he wouldn't get lost next time. But having such a short attention span, he gave up and decided to have some friendly conversation.

"So, you said your name was Ten-Ten, right?" She nodded. " I suppose you must know a lot about this school."

"Not really. I'm only a Sophomore. Though, I must admit, there are some freshman who know every corner of this school." She turned into another corridor and Naruto followed close behind. "There are only some things that matter in this school. The most important is the people who have any kind of relationship with you." Seeing as how Naruto was thoroughly confused, she tried clarifying things a bit. "As in, who are your friends, your family, who you've dated, who's your dorm roommie, that sort of thing. And if your unfortunate enough to have none of that in your favor, you better be a good runner.... Or at least know how to fight. _Really_ good. And I mean _really really _good."

Naruto gulped. What was he getting himself into? Wasn't it enough he had a once was phychotic killer inside his conscience, but now he goes to a high school where popularity is everything?! Not that he expected high school to be anything but a popularity contest, he just didn't think the consequences for not being popular were that high.

"Oh, look we're here." She stopped in front of a door marked 124. A huge smile was planted on her lips, like she knew something he didn't know. Then she left saying a really happy 'bye'. Not one that said 'I'm-glad-this-is-over-with.' One that said I-know-something-you-don't-know. Naruto waved and yelled a 'thank you' even though she was already half way down the hall.

"Now _that _is one weird girl. And whats with the I-know-something-you-don't-know attitude? ...I should probably stop talking to myself now." He took out the key to his dorm and opened the door. What he saw inside wasn't really what he expected. It was a cute girl reading a book.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tell me how I did. I tried not to make it go too fast, yet not too slow either. This _is _my first story I actually posted on the Internet so I'm not too sure if I did good. Is the plot interesting enough? Can I improve my descriptions? Are the characters in character? Do you think that Kyuubi's personality is okay? I sort of imagined that if he could actually talk to Naruto whenever he wanted, he'd mess around with him. It has to get boring, being locked in that cage all day. Anyways, I want to hear suggestions on what I can improve on from you guys.

Lee lee: Are you doing subliminal messaging?

Me: ....Maybe....

Lee lee: You realize that's illegal, right?

Me: Shit! Well, wouldn't be the first time I've done something illegal.

Lee lee: Do I want to know?

Me: If you want to conserve your sanity I wouldn't suggest it.

Kyuubi: Get on with it already!

Me: Okay! How about this: I'd appreciate if you'd press that purple button and leave a review.


	2. Who's this?

I feel horrible. I haven't updated this in like, forever! The only reason I actually remembered was because I was deleting my old mail and realized all the people who reviewed, added to alert, added to favorite, and so on, my stories. Thank you guys! I'm glad people enjoyed them! If this comes out bad blame the music I'm listening to. Alternative, rap, pop and Latin don't mix well one after another.

The first chapter of the story I changed a lot since I found lots of errors. So reading it over would be great. You wont be dissapointed with future chapters. I definately can say I've improved my writing a ton and learned lots of new words since my little "vacation". Which I should probably explain.

So here's my explanation: I got in loads of trouble and couldn't use the Internet. It wasn't something little either. It was school related. Something to do with not being there.... at all. He he he, yeah. I'm never doing that again. Well, as long as I live in Pennsylvania at least. New York is not one of the best places to grow up. Many bad influences.... Including myself. An apology should be in order. "I'm sorry I'm such a bad ass, I promise not to get caught next time." Well, enough stalling. Here's the next chapter.

And before people hate me, Naruto does not end up with Mitsuki. I'm not sure who ends up with who yet. And I don't normally put OC's, but she's there for an important reason. You'll find out sooner or later. This is just a fic I came up with to portray how crazy a high school can be when there's ninjas involved. Of course, it has a more complex plot than that, but you'll have to read more to really understand it.

Disclaimer: I don't even own the computer I'm writing on (my sister does) do you think I'm going to own Naruto? I don't think so.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Naruto entered the girl didn't look up, not once, from her book. She seemed too absorbed in it. Looking at her he couldn't shake the feeling that they had met before. That really didn't make him feel any better, so Naruto just tried not to disturb her. Or he would of if it wasn't because the side of the dorm she was on was the one that didn't look occupied. But before Naruto got to say anything, the girl had closed her book, got up, and was heading out the door. Her black her was hiding her eyes, so Naruto couldn't see her expression.

_I'm starting to think that every girl here is a weirdo. She could've at least said something, not just walked away._

"At least now people wont judge you if you turn gay. You could just justify it by saying every girl in this school is nuts." Kyuubi sure knew the worst times to show up._ I'm not going to turn gay just because two girls at this school are wierd. And what makes you think the guys aren't equally wierd either? _No response. _Hello?_ Still no response._ Why do you have to disappear while I'm in the middle of saying something?!_

"This is hopeless." He went to where he assumed was his side of the room, and flopped down on the bed. Minutes later, the knob of the door was rattling. It was the girl that was there before.

"Sorry for just leaving like that. I don't usually do that sort of thing. So how about I introduce myself. I'm Mitsuki." She extended her hand for Naruto to shake. He sat up and did so. Compared to his tanned hand, hers was really pale. "And of course, like everyone else in this school, I know who you are. Uzuamki Naruto."

"Kitten, there's something different about this girl." _Now you decide to return! _He decided to just ignore Kyuubi.

"News sure travels fast around here."

"Sure does." It was getting hard to start a conversation with her. She seemed really anti-social. "Oh, um, you're roommate isn't here, but you'll meet him eventually." She started walking out the door. "If you need anything I'll be next door. I know this school like the back of my hand."

Minutes later, Naruto could be seen pacing up and down his dorm. He was extremely bored now. He had no one to keep him company. Even a talk with Kyuubi would be nice, but he just refuses to talk. He couldn't even go inside his conscience to see what's going on. He just wanted something to do. So, he headed out the door to go exploring.

The school was enormous. It seemed big enough for there to be two schools in one. With the school being so big he quickly got lost. About five times. The worst part was, there was no student in sight. He half expected there to at least be some people there. School doesn't start until next week!

After his seventh dead end, he decided to ask Kyuubi for help. Kyuubi did have a strong nose, twenty-twenty vision and great memory.

_Kyuubi! Please help me! I'm lost.... and hungry! _Like all his attempts, he didn't get a response. He tried bargaining. _I'll even call you Kyuubi-sama if you help me!_ _Or anything you want! I'll even eat your favorite foods! Just pleas help me! _Naruto eventually gave up. Expecting Kyuubi to help him when he needed it was like trying to stop the Earth from orbiting the Sun. Completely pointless.

He then remembered that since Kyuubi and Naruto share the same body, they also share the great sense of smell. If he couldn't get help from Kyuubi, sniffing around to find people was the next best choice. It wasn't long before he smelled a familiar scent, yet it was so different at the same time. He felt he knew who it belonged to, yet he didn't. His indecisiveness caused him to bump into said person.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This chapter was suppose to be a lot longer and I mean A LOT longer, but I have to stop it here to ask for your suggestions.

All the characters in the Naruto series will be present or mentioned somehow in this fic. I already have it all planned out, I just need suggestions for ages. All the genin are 14, except Naruto since his Birthday is in October, a month after school starts. And anyone else who's Birthday is in September or later. Now, should Itachi be greater than 18 or 16 or less. This is important because the characters still play the roles they do normally, just modified. It's just that I think it would be weird for an 18 year old to be after a 13 year old (like how he does in the anime/manga). It just sounds kind of wrong if it were in the real world, you know what I mean? All the other Akatsuki members will be in college (I'll figure out an appropriate age for them), I just need an age for Itachi that wouldn't sound wrong in case police get involved.

Me: Is it just me or are the author's note longer than the actual chapters?

Naruto: No, you're right on with that.

Me: Ugh! I promise the next chapter will be longer!


End file.
